Game. The one word that perfectly describes dating.
The definition of the word game is : A form of play or sport, esp. a competitive one played according to rules and decided by skill, strength, or luck.
According to rules. Who’s rules? They are so conflicting:
- Make the guy chase you. Guys don’t want a girl they know they can have. Or…
- Be straightforward with the guy. If you want him, tell him. Guys like a girl that takes charge.
- Make him wait 3 dates, 5 dates. 1o dates. Or…
- You’re a woman and you have needs, if you wanna give it up on the first date go for it!
- Protect your heart. Be vicious before he can be. Or…
- Be sweet and show him how caring you are.
- Don’t let him pay for anything. Be independent. Or…
- Don’t pay for anything. Make him know you’re a lady
Blah! What the heck is the right answer??!
If I feel like going one way, I’m told it’s wrong and that’s just going to make the guy not want to be with me. So I try to go the other way and am told that I shouldn’t try to be something I’m not and I should just be myself. Uh, I was trying to be myself and was told that was wrong!
Does either sex even know what the heck we really want? Or are we just trying to fulfill an obligation we have to our other single brothers and sisters in ensuring that we conform to the rules set out by every website, book, relationship expert and movie where having a successful relationship is based on these supposed easy rules?
Lately I have been looking for common factors in this world of dating. Now, I am definitely guilty of looking for that magical formula for the best relationship. I have filled out the checklists, taken the quizzes and applied the systems but yet I am still single. So I’ve decided that there’s a new answer, a better answer. Get ready for this because I’m going to go against everything you’ve probably heard……..
There are NO rules. Screw the system!
The common factor in everything I’ve read or watched, is me. I am my own rules. What is best for me is what’s best for me and who better to define that then me! If I screw up, then I screw up. If I fall down, then it’s my ass on the ground. It’s all on me and I’m good with that.
If I meet a guy and we hit it off and I want to kiss him, then why can’t I? If he calls me the next day, why do I have to ignore the call and play hard to get? I like him, why the heck would I want to play hard to get? Just get me already!
If we spent more time actually focusing on and listening to the person across from us then we wouldn’t need a book or a self help video to tell us what’s wrong with them, we could see it for ourselves and make the go, no go decision. And if the decision is that you like that person, then go for it damn it!
How many times have we all been burned by the “rules”? Times where we did something the rules said we had to do rather than what we wanted to do. We were left empty handed, brokenhearted and with that little voice inside us cussing us out because we weren’t true to ourselves. Damn you rules!
So I say screw conformity! There’s a million dollar business out there right now with “experts” selling you the magic potion to finding happiness. Well I say to those so called experts; you keep your DVD and paperback and I’ll keep my $29.95. Thanks!
You are the only rule book you need folks. Just keep it simple and keep it true.
So, how have the “rules” worked for you?