The Game by Any other Name is still…..The Game

blue heart

Originally this post was going to be about the back and forth game that we singles play in this dating circle.  I was going to compare the two species and our different techniques to attract and conquer the opposite sex.  I got about half way through my blog when I realized that I really don’t have a clue!

Recently my daughter and I spent the weekend together and we were talking about our dating experiences.  Now she had some great analogies and stories about dating in your twenties.  That’s the time when the game is really at its peak isn’t it?  The boys are all strutting around showing their masculinity with their wallets and their game talk while the girls are fluffing their peacock feathers done up to the nines, with make-up, short skirts and stilettos.  Each of them doing the dance with the hopes of attracting a partner, even for a night.  For the boys it’s a high five story they can tell over breakfast and for the girls it’s usually a morning “why did I do that” cry with the bestie.  Only to repeat it all again the next weekend.

It’s a tradition that young singles have been doing forever and it’s one that will continue as long as there are people on this earth.

Those boys I could talk about all day long.  I get their game, I understand their strategy.  It’s the over 40 men that have me stumped!

For example:

How the heck can you be 45, I be 41 and I am too old for you??? I recently saw a profile on a dating site of a guy who I thought was quite attractive, shared some of my same interests and lived close by.  I decided to send him a quick message to let him know I was interested in getting to know him more.  I drafted the message, hit send and was immediately greeted with a “We’re sorry but you cannot message this profile as you do not meet their age requirements”.  Uh what? Casanova actually had his age requirements set at 25 – 35 year old females only!  Wow.  Whatever, I will just take my walker and leave then.

How about the over 40 guy who “says” he wants an independent woman who can be his partner and equal in life?  This guy comes with baggage of past experiences where he was clearly taken advantage of and doesn’t want to make the same mistake twice.  So you come to the table with your independence, strength and your own ideas.  You spend time showing him that you are his equal in every way and for a short while it seems to be going well until you discover what he actually really wants is the exact thing he said he didn’t want.  All this one leaves you with is an empty wallet and a headache.

Finally, the mama’s boy.  This one could come to you as either a divorcee or a never been married version and they don’t have to be younger than you to have this condition.  Oh no!  They can be over 40 and carry with them some major momma issues.  This one looks good on the outside. Handsome, good job and great friends.  He fulfills your checklist.  Then you start to date him. Before you know it, you are picking out his clothes, monitoring his calorie intake and scolding him for not brushing his teeth!  And he likes it!  No thanks.  A 200lb baby is not on my bucket list.

So, are there men out there over 40 who are really looking for a partner and a friend to share life’s experiences with?  I’m sure there are but for this explorer I have yet to find that lost city of Manlantis.  However, I will continue to forge ahead ladies and let you know when I find him.  Oh and of course, I will see if he has any single friends!