Home » Dating » Relationships after Divorce – To Jump or Not to Jump. Hmmmm

Relationships after Divorce – To Jump or Not to Jump. Hmmmm


Went through all stages of grief….twice!    Check

Made sure kids were all good with mom moving on      Check

Finalized Divorce      Check

Emotionally prepared myself for dating     Check

Went on a few feeler dates to get back in the game    Check

So with the checklist all complete and really feeling like I am ready to move on and seek out a new love, why then do I look at the possibility and say….”Meh”

What does that mean?

I know I’m ready but maybe the problem is I’m not willing.  Willing to give up my new found independence and freedom.  Willing to compromise on doing what I want to do when I want to do it?

Advice comes from all angles. From my married friends, my single friends, my divorced friends and yes of course, from my mother.  Yeah Yeah mom I know!

“Stay single forever” some say.  “You would be happier in a relationship” others say.

Yes, there is definitely a part of me that misses having someone to share my experiences with and be there for me when I need support but come on ladies.  How many women out there in a relationship right now can check “Emotionally supportive” off as one of their partners list of qualities?  Very few I’m sure.  And isn’t that one of the biggest problems we all face once the relationship has settled in to being a habit?  “He never listens to me”.  “He’s not there for me emotionally”.

I think after being in a relationship that spanned almost 20 years, there is nothing new for me to experience.  I went through all the “firsts” with him. I feel like I already ran the marathon, got my participation ribbon and proved to myself I could do it.  I don’t feel like going back to the starting line and running the same race again.  My feet are TIRED!

So.  Where does that leave me?  Am I bitter?  No I’m not.  I love men.  I have some great men in my life who make me feel beautiful, strong and worthwhile.  I just don’t know if I want another ribbon.

Maybe if I find the right pair of shoes it won’t feel like a marathon.  Maybe it will be a nice comfortable jog  (Ok. Did I go too far with the whole “running” comparison?)

What do you think?  Have you been around the track more than once? (Seriously, I will stop now!)


3 thoughts on “Relationships after Divorce – To Jump or Not to Jump. Hmmmm

  1. Well…good for you for completing your checklist. Why rush? There is no pressure to jump straight into the next relationship. It is ok to want to be single for a while. Our society makes it seem taboo to simple kick back and relax and enjoy life as an individual. You have friends and families who love you I am sure. So don’t force yourself to think for some unknown reason it is automatically time. The Bible said little with contentment is much, so why rush it…tempting? Yes it is because that is what is expected, but if you push yourself in this way the next relationship would not satisfy you. Creating heart ache yet again. You may have recovered from your last relationship, but that doesn’t mean you want an new one, and that is ok. http://Www.askchauntel.com

  2. Pingback: Relationships after Divorce – To Jump or Not to Jump. Hmmmm | Ask Chauntel

  3. Thanks for the feedback Chauntel. You’re right! I feel this immense pressure to get in to another relationship or I will be branded the “old maid”. Why can’t divorced women be viewed as strong and independent if we choose to be single rather than get the “Aww poor her. She can’t find anyone else to love her” looks from people? But you’re right. It is definitely tempting but if I have learned anything about myself these past 3 years is that I am one strong cookie!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s