Home » Dating » Apparently I’m a Cougar??

Apparently I’m a Cougar??


Something has been happening to me over the past few months.  It has started happening so frequently that I just had to write about it.

Why am I getting hit on by boys in their twenties??  I say boys because to me, that’s what they are.  I have a 21 year old daughter and an 18 year old son so to me anyone under 30 is a child!

Instead of wanting to interact with these boys I feel like asking them if they are finished their homework and remind them to brush their teeth before bed.  What in god’s name would we possibly talk about?  Their cool new jeans?  The new Pitbull song?  The new club that just opened up downtown?  I’m tired just thinking about it. I need a nap.

Let’s be clear about something.  I am in no way offended by this new found category of potential suitors.  It’s actually extremely flattering but ulitmately not possible.  Where the heck did they all come from though?  So I finally just came out and started asking.  Why me?

The responses were sometimes typical and sometimes suprising:

  • They want a confident woman who knows what she wants
  • They don’t want to play games and want a woman who is done with that
  • They think older women would be more faithful
  • Older women are more “experienced” than girls their age
  • They have mother issues and are looking for someone to take care of them
  • They want to check it off their bucket list (that was a funny one actually)
  • They are old souls and have nothing in common with girls their own age

All valid and truthful responses which I respect.  I then started to seek out why women my age would ever date a guy in their 20’s.

Simply, they want to be wanted.  As a single woman in my 40’s most of the guys my age are looking for girls in their 20’s and 30’s! Mid life crisis much??

So we are left feeling like we are used up and expired.  Then along comes a boy  who looks at us like we haven’t been looked at in a long time and compliments us.  This feels good right?  That’s all we want.  We just want to feel beautiful and wanted.

This is a short term solution though.  Ultimately we are looking for a long lasting and fullfilling relationship with someone who can be our partner through our journey in this life.  Taking on a relationship like that would just be taking on another child and for this cougar, I’m done.

Have you had any of these experiences either as a cougar or a cub?


One thought on “Apparently I’m a Cougar??

  1. After my marriage ended, the few men – mostly friends and acquaintances – I dated were all younger than me. I went out with them for the purpose of you-know :-).
    In my country, men my age are already taken and the ratio of men to women is 1:4. You are right, too, in saying older men only want younger women. My brother is currently going out with a girl half his age (Yikes!). So there’s just no hope to find a good one here. I’ve already accepted that unfortunate reality for quite some time and I do not search for a mate I can spend the rest of my life with anymore. There are so many other things to enjoy in life anyway. 🙂

    I find young men fun to be with and they definitely have more energy. 😉 But that’s all. Just for fun.

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