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A Simple Guide To The Not So Simple World of Online Dating

The number of online dating sites out there today is staggering. Whether you are looking for a casual hook up or a serious relationship, you can find it all with a few clicks.


Online dating has become so main stream you can’t watch TV without seeing some carefully crafted commercial depicting two seemingly normal people enjoying laughs over a dinner and drinks. Two people who are clearly made for each other and will live out the rest of their days blissfully happy and thankful that they chose that site to find their love. So what you’re saying is that all I have to do is join your site and I too will become blissfully happy and never eat alone again? I’m in!

So you embark on the journey of finding all the sites that may have what you’re looking for. In my particular journey I have tried A LOT of them both paid and free. In my experiences, they are all basically the same. You enter in your personal information, post what you are looking for in a partner and upload some pics. After that the games begin.

So on to the purpose of this post. I’ve come up with some guidelines for both guys and girls when boarding the online dating train. Of course, these are just my opinions and experiences. Feel free to comment with any of your suggestions.

For The Guys

In the spot to put your profession don’t just put “Got one” or “Yep”. Unless you work for the CIA just put your profession. It’s annoying, not intriguing.

When posting a picture of yourself, please post a picture of your face. You may have a six pack but we don’t need the bathroom pic of you holding up your shirt and pulling down your pants. You’re not a Chippendale dancer so calm down.

If you are looking for a one night hook up, I believe there are services for that. Don’t troll the online dating sites messaging pictures of your private parts. If you do that, you are just a creep, period.

If you message a girl and you can tell that she has read your email but not replied, she’s not going to. You don’t need to send repeated messages. She is NOT interested. Move on.

Respect the privacy of the ladies. If she is interested in getting to know you and possibly even wants to meet, it’s ok if she wants to keep her digits private. You have to understand that for women, the world is a little scarier than it is for you. Understanding goes a long way.

Try to actually read the ladies ad and respect her wants and needs. You are just setting yourself up for failure if you don’t. If she loves to travel and does many outside activities but you’re afraid to fly and hate the outdoors, you’re not a good match. It doesn’t matter how pretty you think she is, move on.

Lastly guys, chivalry should not be dead. It doesn’t matter if we are in our twenties or our fifties, women love a gentleman. This doesn’t mean buying us diamonds or spending your entire paycheque on us. Simply opening a car door or complimenting us will go a long way in winning her heart.

For The Ladies

Ok girls. Unless you are looking to be an escort or a stripper (and no judgements here), why would you post pics of yourself half naked or in lingerie? It makes it even more confusing that your relationship need says “Looking for a long term relationship”?! Why are you laying out the buffet before you even meet the guy? Have some self respect and cover up the goodies. A guy should work to see your assets, not have free access to them online.

If someone messages you and you’re not interested, don’t message them back. Just let it go. As well, if you message someone and they don’t message back, don’t stalk them! Just move on to the next profile.

Keep your contact information private. This includes your home number, cell number, private email and especially your address! Even if you decide to go ahead and meet face to face, all online dating sites allow for private emails as well as instant chats. Use that until after even a couple of dates and you feel that you can become more personal.

Take your own vehicle. If you don’t then essentially you are getting in the car with a stranger and that goes against everything our parents taught us. If you don’t have a car, ask a friend to drive you or pick a place that you can walk to.

Unless a random hook up is what you are looking for, never give it up on the first, second or even third date. If they are worth it, they’ll wait (This is definitely a firm rule with me and I have had guys never call me again because I was very clear what my rules were. Guess what they were looking for??). This rule should actually apply no matter where you are finding you’re dates!

Do not assume that the man will pay for the first date. Whether it’s meeting at a coffee shop or a restaurant, this is a meeting to determine if there is a spark. Be prepared to pay for your own meal. If he offers to pay then great but bring your wallet ladies!

Finally, just be yourself. The online world can make some people take on a persona that really isn’t them. Online you can be anything you want but when you take the next step to actually meet someone face to face you have to back up your online persona. Don’t change your interests or your intentions to suit someone just because they may seem successful or good looking and you want to meet them. You are just setting yourself up for some serious hurt. Just be you.

Like I said, these are just my guidelines. Feel free to post any of your own in the comment section. I would love to hear them!


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